At first glance, this book looks like any generic self-help book; not something that KhBr tends to be into. However, you can’t judge a book by its cover. A quick skim reveals that Rhonda, who is now Channel Five’s Life Doctor, isn’t just someone who deals with psychobabble. She’s been there, dealt with the problems and is passing on her solutions. At fourteen, Rhonda watched her father shoot her mother then himself. She’s subsequently been divorced, survived an abusive relationship and figured out how to be happy – and not regret any of her past.
The main premise of the book is that the opposite of love is fear. If people are afraid, they’ll never be able to love. Fear takes many forms; fear of commitment, of getting hurt, of being abandoned and numerous other things. By dealing with the fear, you’ll feel better about yourself and get/have a happy relationship.
The book has eight principles to adhere to, all of which are common sense but laid out in a clear way that’s easy to understand.
The first is ‘love is up to you’; figure out what you want/what you’re scared of so that you can get the relationship you want.
‘Everyone is innocent’ suggests that you don’t assume that people deliberately hurt you. Most of the time, it’s an innocent mistake.
Rhonda doesn’t think that following your heart is enough because ‘feelings lie’. Furthermore, your feelings aren’t another person’s responsibility. Learn what your feelings are and where they come from.
She also suggests, radically, that you hold out on sleeping with someone until there’s a commitment. However, it makes sense in the way that she presents it.
Overall, this book isn’t crammed with Americanisms, does contain good advice and offers something for everyone, whether single or attached. Ignore the cheesy title and cover, and buy yourself a copy.
Fearless Loving is released by Hodder Mobius on 13th March priced £10.99.